


The Price of an Ideal

by Cadilus (Ahsurika)



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Airbending & Airbenders, Avatar State, Bending (Avatar), Canon Compliant, Drama, Equalist, Gen, Korra POV, Minor Korra/Mako, Personal Growth, Republic City, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, duel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 01:28:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahsurika/pseuds/Cadilus
Summary: Let's tweak Book One. What if Korra challenged Amon right there in the arena? Here, the final duel between Korra and Amon plays out in a slightly different fashion due to their massive audience. (Fans of the Lieutenant, this one's for you.)





	1. Confrontation

Firelight flickered, clustered torches giving the arena the atmosphere of a sacrificial chamber. Only light – no beat, no pull, no constant roar within her chest.

 _Gone_.

She felt so cold.

"Brothers, sisters…this is a  _glorious_  day in the history of our movement."

His words, delivered in the deep voice of conviction, crept between her thoughts with the chilling fingers of defeat. She curled up, because if she hid her face they couldn't see her, couldn't see her pain, couldn't see the emptiness.

 _Gone_.

Earth beneath her, a hard surface, trembling against her body as if quaking with her heart – but she knew the ground was still, that she was the one shaking. That the earth would never respond to her touch again.

"We have overcome our greatest enemies. The Avatar has fallen. We are in control of Republic City. There are those who still resist us, but without their leaders they will fall. At long last, after a struggle that began when the first bender was born, the door to equality lies open!"

And tears, uncontrollable, she wanted to will them back, to show that she wasn't afraid, but she couldn't control them, she couldn't control  _any_  water, not anymore.

 _Gone_.

The crowd was cheering.

"Though the Airbenders have temporarily escaped our grasp, they cannot hide in the city. We will find them. We will relieve them of their bending. We will flush this city out until all that remains is what we all seek:  _equality_!"

Bolin and Asami, tightly embracing her as they prepare to go on their own daring mission. General Iroh, the image of a leader, clasping her hand to seal their promise. Lin, resolve overcoming gloom as she arms herself for one final venture. Tenzin, his robes flapping around him, his grey eyes wishing her luck as he flies his children to safety.

Mako, lying unconscious on the other side of the stage where Amon's lieutenant had thrown him, minutes away from having his own bending taken forever.

_They all counted on me and I…I just…I can't…_

She'd played right into Amon's hands. He'd expected her to confront him head on. He knew her, how she fought, how she  _thought_ …she should have realized he, who'd deceived the entire city, would leave nothing to chance.

But she'd rushed in anyway, and she'd lost.

Curled up on the rocky floor, Korra wanted to die.

"But do not forget, my friends – there are others out there. Others who suffer under the weight of oppression, powerless against the tyranny of bending."

If only Amon had taken her hearing away, too. Then she wouldn't have to hear his lies, each one laughing at her as it drove the crowd to ever-greater frenzy.  _And here I am. Useless. Worthless. I was supposed to be the Avatar, and I failed everyone, and –_

_And yet here you are, Korra._

Korra blinked. The thought was not hers.

"The conquest of Republic City will resonate through future generations, but it is only a single step. The door is open. Do we have the will to see what lies on the other side?"

_Conquest. He wants power, Korra._

With the thunder of the crowd drowning out even thought, it was several seconds before she comprehended what this other voice was telling her.

_He once said that benders start the wars. Yet he speaks of conquering others. Does he really think he didn't start this one?_

Korra frowned. Since Amon's very identity was hypocrisy incarnate, why should his speeches be any different? If he'd lied about one thing, why not another? If he could manipulate Tarrlok, could manipulate her, what was to stop him doing the same to his followers?

Deep within her withered heart, anger flared.  _He's just using them!_

"Brothers. Sisters. We have a long road ahead of us…but I will walk it. I will follow it. For the legions of nonbenders who struggle day by day, I will take this path of war. Who stands with me?"

The crowd was jumping up and down, fists pumping, every smiling face promising support. Korra gritted her teeth.

_And you? Will you join him, Korra?_

Her lips curled. A grim mockery of a smile it might be, but a smile it was. She could win no victory, but she would never join her enemy.  _Not me. I'll fight you until the day I die._

She turned her head.

Amon was watching her.

Her stomach clenched, her heart hammering once more. Had she spoken the words aloud?

"Truly, Korra? You won't join us?"

Eyes wide, Korra cursed her stupidity. If she'd just remained silent, just allowed Amon this one moment of triumph, just –

_But that's not you, stupid. Didn't you just say you'd fight?_

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. Amon had power. He had followers. He had everything.  _But he doesn't have me. I am…was…the Avatar. I'm not his lapdog, and I never will be._

_And neither should anyone else here._

"I won't."

Amon cocked his head. The familiar mask conveyed the perplexed grin he surely wore beneath it. "Interesting. I'd thought you might recognize the futility of remaining with Republic City's former authorities. Perhaps even that you never should have stood with them in the first place. Isn't the Avatar supposed to be on the side of the people?"

Korra scowled, but already she felt cornered. It was hard for her to argue such a claim before so many nonbenders, many of whom had wanted nothing more than safety from the gangs that had preceded her arrival.

"Ah." Amon nodded, his mocking tone grating on Korra. "That's right. You're not the Avatar any more. Whether you like it or not, you're one of us now."

 _One of…how_ dare _you?_

"I'm not like _you_ ," Korra snapped.  _Bloodbender_. "How could I be?"

Chuckling, the Equalists' leader began to pace as the crowd bellowed at her. Korra gulped.  _Spirits, why can't I watch my stupid mouth? Think!_

Raising his arms to quiet the stream of profanity, the Equalist leader addressed the crowd. "Do you see, my friends? Even now, without her bending, the Avatar sides with our oppressors. She stands against you, against –"

"Oh, I'm one of  _them_."

Amon stopped mid-stride. "What?"

Now it was her turn to laugh. Dragging herself to her feet, Korra shook her head.  _Careful, Korra. Be smart about this. He's still a bloodbender. And you…_  "I can't bend, just like all of them. I'm at your mercy, just like all of them."

She waved an arm to encompass the crowd before narrowing her eyes at Amon. She'd already accused him of being a bender, and they hadn't listened.  _Monkeyfeathers. I have to trap him another way._

And then,  _"Monkeyfeathers"? Where did_ that _come from?_ "I'm just confused as to where  _you_  fit into this 'us' you keep talking about."

Silence. "You understand so little, child," Amon said after a moment's pause.

"Enlighten me."

He sighed, a teacher tolerating a student's ignorance. "My powers are not those of the bending tyranny. They were granted by the spirits–"

"No,  _mine_  were," Korra shouted, "but that didn't stop you from  _destroying_   _them_!"

The crowd buzzed with displeasure. Voices hurled insults at Korra, defended their champion with praise and thanks, condemned her and worse. She avoided looking at them, trying to weather the storm of derision, endure the pain of their words.  _They are not my enemy. He is._

Pleasure not her own rippled through her mind.  _Well done, Korra. A hard lesson to learn. Remember it._

Amon lifted his hands once more. Korra glared at him while the crowd quieted, eager to hear their leader's response.

"You do well to compare us, Korra. We're not so different, really. We were both granted power, the two of us, to heal the world. But just look at how we used it. You threatened, coerced, asserted your strength. You hurt the people you were meant to protect."

_No, I – I never meant –_

"But I…I came as a  _liberator_. I came when the people needed aid, and the spirits came when my strength was not enough. They told me to punish the benders, those who used the elements to control the world."

Korra stepped forward. "And the Airbenders used their powers to hurt people, right? Tell me, Amon, who did the children oppress?"

"Still I tell you, and still you do not listen," Amon said, impatience leaking through his stoic demeanor. Impatience, and the slightest hint of anger. "The difference is clear. They're benders. The very existence of their powers puts them above the rest. In time, they'll be just like  _you_."

 _Gotcha_. "And yet  _your_  powers are allowed to exist." Korra rolled her eyes, arms crossed. "Hmm. Who decides which powers get to remain? Is it really the spirits, Amon? I think it's much simpler than that."

She leaned forward, smiling as sweetly as she could at the man who had taken her powers. The effort tasted like sweaty sky bison hair. "Who controls  _your_  powers, Amon?"

"As I said, they are different—"

"You said that you and I are the same," Korra shot back before he could continue.  _Keep him on his toes. Speak to the crowd._  "I had only just arrived in Republic City when you shattered the peace. I never had a chance to help restore balance to the world – and the world includes more than just benders.  _Balance_  includes more than just benders. It includes everyone in this room."

Ignoring the lump in her throat, she jabbed a finger at him. "And  _you_  refused to give me the chance – like you refuse to give Tenzin's  _children_  the chance. If we believe what you say, why should we give  _you_  the chance?"

Amon shook his head. "Ah, Korra. If only you'd spoken like this before we went to war. Perhaps you could have been a valuable ally, acting on behalf of all people. Now you're powerless. The least you can do is undo the damage you've done."

 _Damn right I can_. Every word that came from behind his mask only incriminated him further. "That's why I'm here," she countered. "I was wrong to group the Equalists with you. They're just your -"

"Enough games, Korra. The peace I destroyed was a sham. We have a long journey ahead of us; the Avatar is a part of the past. The world doesn't need you anymore. Equalists, take her away."

Korra tensed, ready to fight, but dread filled her. Even with her bending she'd had trouble against the Equalist chi blockers. Without it, she wouldn't last a second. They were fast, they were strong, and they surrounded her.

Wincing, she waited for their blows to land.

And waited some more.

Blinking, she looked around. None of the chi blockers had moved. They were all looking at their lieutenant, who stood with arms crossed behind Amon – and the lieutenant was staring at _her_ , his expression no more readable than Amon's mask.

The crowd began to murmur in earnest.

Amon turned his back on her, fixing his lieutenant with his mask's glare. "Is there a problem?"

The man seemed reluctant to take his eyes off Korra, but he turned at his leader's question. "She can't bend, and she's posing no threat to us. Like she said, she's at your mercy."

Korra let out a great sigh, relief wiping some of the tension from her shoulders. She had a chance. An ally, even. She dipped her head in gratitude, but the lieutenant sniffed and scowled back.

Okay, not an ally.  _But better than nothing. And he's not entirely with Amon, either…_

Straightening, she pointed at Amon, her confidence in sharp contrast to her renewed loneliness. Her finger shook. "You said we were the same."

Amon folded his arms, still staring at his lieutenant.

"Well, I was a bender," Korra reminded him. "In front of your followers, I ask you again: do you deny being a bloodbender?"

"Of course." Amon sighed. "The truth is the same as it was when you had your bending."

He whipped around and stepped toward her, the bold gesture causing Korra to stagger back several paces. "What is the purpose of this inquiry, girl? You have no power. You are no longer the Avatar." Each word lashed at her ears. "I cannot even call you my enemy. You are  _nothing_."

Korra tried to speak, to point out to the crowd what he had said, but her ability to think seemed to have fled at his aggression. He was right. Without her powers, without her bending, what was she? Just a girl in over her head.

No, not even that. Most people had something, right? Some place to fall back to if things didn't work out, friends to go to in times of trouble? Not her. If she lost this gamble, she was dead. If she won, she was nothing.

But none of that mattered anymore.

"It's not who I am," she whispered. Shuddering violently, she looked up at Amon.  _I will destroy him, no matter what it takes. Even if I'm nothing, I will take him down. I'm the only one who can_.

 _And he deserves it._  "It's not what I…was. It's because…I'll fight you because of what you've done."

"You always refuse to quit," Amon said loudly, walking forward. "Very well. I accept."

And before she could prepare herself, he was upon her.


	2. Duel

The crowd roared with every exchange of blows, cheering on their champion and jeering at Korra with all the fervor of pro-bending fans. With the arena as the stage of their duel, it could have been just another match. Maybe one in which Mako and Bolin had already been knocked into the water, leaving her to bring the Fire Ferrets victory.

But of course this wasn't the same. She had no backup here, not with Mako  _still_  unmoving. If he didn't wake up soon, she'd be on her own against thousands of Equalists.

And unlike during pro-bending matches, she couldn't bend.

Each blow that pounded Korra's arms and ribs made her bones shiver. Even just blocking Amon's hits was taking its toll. He was a bloodbender, a strategist, and as agile as any Waterbender, but on top of all that his physical strength matched her own. She'd have lost already if not for her honed athletic ability.

She fell back toward the arena's center once more, seeking refuge by the posts where Tenzin's family had been chained. A sea of eager, hungry faces watched her go. Amon followed, flexing his fingers.

"An appropriate place to go, Korra." His modulated voice sounded amused. "I can see it already. The Avatar, chained up like a criminal for standing in the way of equality."

_I need my bending!_

Korra strained against the void where her bending should be, reaching for the fire. It  _had_  to be there. It —

Her head jerked back and stars blazed in her vision, agony blooming in her skull. She reeled backward, arms flailing. They met contact once, twice, a third time as she tried to clear her vision.

His fourth punch slipped past her desperate defense and slammed into her face.

Korra backpedaled, rolling her tongue through the warm taste of blood. No more attempts. Whatever bloodbending Amon used to seal her bending, she wouldn't be able to break it mid-fight.

She paused. If she used the forms without the elements...

He came again, graceful and deliberate, and this time she allowed herself to drift back, easing slowly to her right. Not slow enough — retreating from Amon was like trying to out-swim one of the South Pole's autumn storms.

_Now!_

She planted her heel and jumped, pulling back her arm as she imagined the fire in her veins blossoming at her fingertips —

Whether her cry of pain or the crack of her fractured wrist was louder, Korra couldn't say.

As she fell she saw his fist, so fast it seemed to blur, and she took a quick breath, preparing to -

His punch didn't materialize. The real strike came a second later, turning her gasp into a choked grunt, her lungs hardening into iron as she fell to a knee.

Too late she realized her mistake.

Of course Amon, who'd fought scores of benders and seen Korra herself in action several times, would recognize her bending forms. No longer needing to dodge elements she couldn't command, he had nothing to fear from her bending techniques. He'd see them, assess them, and hit her when she was vulnerable.

She'd never thought of bending as dancing but, as the Equalist chi-blockers had proven time and time again, even the quickest bending could rarely keep up with a talented martial artist. It was simply slower. Amon knew this. He'd trained in this kind of movement specifically to take down benders without revealing his true nature.

There he was, standing in front of her, facing the screaming crowd with a fist in the air.

And yet, the crowd's cheers seemed strangely subdued.

Korra frowned. They still cheered him on, still insulted her, but it seemed quieter than she expected. Many in the crowd were silent. Anticipating? Caught up in the fight? Or, for some reason, uneasy?

_They've never seen him beat up someone who couldn't bend, Korra. By confronting him at all, you're making them think._

Spitting out blood, Korra grinned. The other voice was back, and it was right. Maybe she couldn't win the crowd, but at least she was giving them pause.

It wouldn't matter if she didn't beat Amon.

She launched herself at him.

The rocky platform hard against her cheek, its caress rough and unforgiving.

_But I just…can't._

She rolled away, stumbling once before she could find her feet. Taking in huge gulps of air, she lowered herself to a knee, trying to look like she was preparing another attack and not just trying to catch her breath.

Amon's posture was disinterested, almost lazy. He approached her calmly, his gait the casual, smooth stride of a man who knows his victory is only a matter of time. His blue eyes leered at her from his mask's shadowed slits. "Your body is trained for bending, Korra. You can't beat me. You can't beat equality."

Korra snarled at him, but her heart plummeted. For all her training, he was just too strong. She couldn't block his hits anymore.

 _Then don't_.

Amon reached for her. Batting his arm aside, Korra skipped away, and he let out a laugh. Its harsh ring scratched at her ears. The watching crowd laughed with him.

_What did you do in your first pro-bending match when you couldn't recover from each hit? What did you do at Air Temple Island, when one spinning board pushed you into the next?_

Korra watched as Amon circled her. Even from several yards away she could sense the force in his muscles building, see him gearing up for a knockout blow.

_Make him miss._

Amon charged.

And Korra surrendered.

Tears sprang to her eyes as a barrage of pain slammed into her. Every injury she'd sustained since entering the arena, every impact, every block, every broken bone, the horrible emptinesss, it all collapsed in on top of her. She swayed, for a moment unable to breathe.

Amon's boot clipped her shoulder, throwing her back.

The crowd gasped more than cheered. Even from a distance they must have seen the power, heard the crack.

Her breath came quick and light. She rotated her shoulder, wincing as she felt bone scrape bone. And her body was tough, muscular. She'd trained for years to be able to take a hit like that. Had it connected where he'd aimed it, square on her chin, the kick would have snapped her neck.

But she'd dodged it.

Sort of.

Pleasure that was not hers filled her mind.  _A leaf on the wind, right? The monks always used to tell me to be a leaf, but the wind itself is a lot stronger. And more fun. Though you can't jump into piles of it._

Korra's jaw dropped. Talk of Airbending monks coming from a voice in her head? " _Aang?_ "

_Hello, Korra. Good start._

Amon came again, his fist moving at blinding speed. His knuckles were bruised purple and bloody from the blows he'd already landed on her. He'd clearly lost none of his strength in this fight. Blocking it might break her already fragile forearms, or even render useless her arm that already had a fractured shoulder and broken wrist, and once more her fear surged, she couldn't stop it if —

_The first step to being a bender, Korra, is letting go of your fear._

Right. She didn't need to block it. It simply wasn't going to hit her.

_Well done._

His armored red-and-brown boot came next, a kick aimed at her midsection that barely grazed her Equalist disguise. Then an uppercut that slid along her ear, brushing damp hair out of her face. A jab of his rigid hand, a second, and a slash at her shoulder hit nothing but air. She heard the whispers, suggestions of reinforced cloth and rushing wind, and swayed in response.

And then, as he stumbled past her, she hooked her foot around his ankle and pulled.

Amon crashed to the arena floor.

Murmurs sprung from the crowd. Full of anger, but she could also sense their uncertainty. Their champion's invincibility was proof of his righteousness; he'd been granted his powers by the spirits, after all. If the Avatar — and she was still the Avatar, the one even the _most_ radical Equalists expected to have spirits on her side — could beat him without her bending, had the spirits decided that he'd served his purpose?

The irony stung.

"I see. All four elements. Of course." From where he crouched on the floor, Amon's grim mask seemed to be frowning in the arena's torchlight. "Your Airbending should be gone. How do you still have it?"

Korra shrugged with her good arm, mustering a sneer with effort. "Maybe your version of equality doesn't equal  _balance_."

"Or perhaps I simply missed it the first time around."

Her heart hammered at his upraised arm. If he bloodbent her now, he would use it to kill her. "I-I wouldn't do that."

His low chuckle sent chills down her spine. He rose to his feet slowly, confidence restored. "And why not?"

Realization came as soon as he asked the question. "How are you going to convince people I'm Airbending?" Korra asked through gritted teeth, settling into a crouch. "You and I both know I can't."

Amon cocked his head, shaking it as he peered at her, but he kept his voice to a murmur only she could hear. "You can't possibly believe I need proof." He came at her again, feinting twice before lunging for her, but she twisted aside.

Now it was Korra's turn to shake her head. "If you hadn't already taken my bending, maybe not," she spat, not bothering to keep her voice down. Let the chi-blockers hear the truth of the hollowness inside her. "But to accuse me, who can't bend, of something no one can see? How many of your followers will still believe you have spirit powers?"

When he hesitated, she knew she had him.

"By taking away my bending, you sabotaged yourself." The words tasted like acid.

They had hardly left her mouth when he threw himself at her.

There was no finesse, no technique. Just a rain of blows like a northern squall, coming at her from every direction. Her world narrowed to the range of her foe's reach, the points of his fists and kicks and elbows. A kick she thought she'd dodged clipped her knee, and it took all her strength to remain standing. Her wrist and shoulder flared angrily, making the arena whirled dizzyingly.

With a sinking feeling, Korra realized that even though she'd discovered how to beat Amon, she still might not be able to win.

_I don't like teaching the "leaf on the wind" lessons, Korra. Even if they did suit Tenzin well._

Korra gritted her teeth, deflecting a quick succession of blows and leaping away.  _Um, no time for stories right now!_

_Be the wind itself. Push him off balance, then punish him for it. Like you did when you tripped him._

Weaving in and out of a series of kicks, Korra understood. She couldn't keep this up. Already her lungs were straining for air, sweat staining her black shirt, her hair matted and limp. She couldn't win passively.

Push him off balance, and punish him for it.

Punish him.

Punish him.

Defense wasn't much her style anyway.

When Amon dove for her this time, she slid out of the way, planted her feet, and dug her knee into his chest. His breath came out in a coughing grunt, but she was already moving, anticipating his strike and leaping over it. An empty grin as she turned her jump into a Firebending move, this time one he couldn't prepare for, swinging her other leg down to slam Amon into the rock.

His muscles trembled once more with fatigue, but this time they jumped and  _thrummed_  in a way terrifyingly similar to the feeling of being bloodbent. Korra darted away from Amon, but he merely got to his feet, breathing heavily as he watched her out of the corner of his eye. His fingers were tight, rigid. Could he be...?

 _He's trying to bloodbend you. Just enough to make it look like you succumbed to your injuries. But I've got your back_.  _Keep fighting._

Korra's breath caught, her heart lifting, hoping.  _If you can help me like that, does that mean I can go_ _into the Avatar state?_

No answer. Not that she needed one. If she could, she'd be in it already.

The strange queasiness flickered, abating as she ducked under a punch and rammed an elbow into Amon's leather-armored side. Spinning around him, Korra swept the same arm around to send him tumbling to the ground.

Punish him.

She didn't wait for him to recover. As he rose to his feet, Korra rushed at him - and then past him, trailing her hand to grab his shirt by the scruff of the neck. She dragged him ten feet before his fingers scrabbled for her wrist, but the air warned her and she released him, letting him fall. He launched himself forward, reaching for her injured arm, and Korra smiled. She tucked her arm in, fighting through the pain, and fastened an iron grip around his forearm.

Shouting out under the strain, the muscles of her good arm bulging with the effort, she picked him up and threw him across the platform.

A pair of chi-blockers moved to help him, but he shoved them aside. "The Avatar is  _mine_."

Korra beckoned him toward her. His earlier poise was unraveling, and he had already tried to bloodbend her in the open. If she could get him close enough to the edge, to the water...

She danced around his first punch and dipped beneath his second, reorienting them so that his back was to the platform's edge.

He blocked her first kick. The second glanced off his knee, causing him to hobble backward. He evaded a third kick with a sweep of his leg, using momentum to drag his body. A fourth kick boxed his ear, and he staggered back, stunned.

Her fifth kick, a sweeping overhead strike, shattered the mask with a crack that rang across the arena's bleachers.

Korra fell back, bouncing on her heels. The face of Noatak stared at her from beneath his rumpled hood. From this distance, his scar looked a whole lot less real. "What's the matter, Amon? Afraid of me now that you're unmasked?"

Roaring with fury, Noatak leaped at her with his arms outstretched and fingers like claws. She felt the tremor of attempted bloodbending pass through her arms, crying out where it rattled her broken bones, but she had prepared for this. Aang's spirit was with her, and though she couldn't bend she would still win. Her eyes narrowed and she smiled, feeling the rush of adrenaline as she rammed her good hand into his chest. He stumbled, trying to find his footing, but before he could there was no more floor. With a surprised cry, he toppled over the edge.

Amon, champion of the Equalists and hidden bloodbender, hit the water a hundred feet below with the most satisfying splash Korra had ever heard.

For a blissful moment, she imagined she could hear the announcer celebrating.

Panting, Korra straightened. The crowd was shouting incomprehensible things at her, but the chi-blockers who surrounded her watched impassively. Amon's lieutenant clasped his hands behind his back.

 _What do I do now? Did they see him try to bloodbend me? Did I do it wrong?_  "Uh, I assume you saw -"

Rushing water behind her, and too late Korra remembered what element bloodbending was related to. Her limbs suddenly jerked from her control.

_No! I won! Aang, you said you'd stop him!_

Silence.

The mask was gone. So was the scar he'd shown her earlier. She was looking into the chiseled, glowering face of a Southern Water Tribesman.  _Noatak_. "I am this close to my ideals, Avatar, and you will  _not_ -"

A rough, low voice grated the air. "Traitor."

Korra heard a grunt, and suddenly her limbs were free.

Noatak was on the ground, his face was contorted in a fury Korra had never seen before. Rage, hatred, betrayal — murder was written all over his face. But it wasn't directed at her.

Hanging in the air, his limbs splayed grotesquely around him, was Amon's lieutenant.

The arena was still. Then -

" _Bloodbender_!"

The crowd, united only moments ago, dissolved into confusion and panic. Korra caught a glimpse of the chi-blockers rushing at Amon before something slammed into the side of her head and knocked her to the ground. A boot collided with her fractured shoulder, throwing her head against the rock, and her vision bloomed white.

Shouting, now. More creaking, the terrible sound of bloodbending pushing roughly through her haze of agony. She couldn't breathe. A roar, maybe the crowd, maybe the water below the arena. An explosion, somewhere behind her. She blinked, trying to push herself to her feet, but the floor was tilting and one of her arms wouldn't move and her back was on fire, as if a powerful electric current —

Explosions, more of them. With a mighty push, she made it to a knee, but then she was surrounded by rocks, and there was heat outside, unbearable heat as the Firelord pressed his attack, and then she was back in the arena, surrounded by fighting bodies —

An arm wrapped around her neck and squeezed. A low voice in her ear, saying, "Don't move a muscle, Avatar, or—" but she reached behind her and grabbed the mask and  _threw_ , and the chi-blocker slammed into the pale stone in front of her. Electricity sizzled past her and she remembered the feeling of holding it in her hand, and then someone grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. Half-blind with pain she swung at her attacker, but when she saw the familiar red scarf her cry of rage turned into one of joy.

" _Mako_!"

"Mako, get her out of here!" General Iroh's voice. Except it was also the voice of her best friend, and he was saying  _Sokka_.

His arms around her, and suddenly she was flying, a continuous blast of fire underneath her, and while she loved the feeling of Mako's body against hers she  _hated_ that she couldn't direct the flames herself, and suddenly she couldn't help but wonder where she would get a new glider now that —

" _Korra_!"

Korra jolted to attention. She landed hard on the floor, her legs folding beneath her as she fell to the glass panes and metal beams.

No, not the floor. The roof. She was on the roof of the pro-bending arena. And she'd just punched Mako in the face.

She opened her mouth to apologize, but before she could get out more than a "I'm so sor-" the boy she wanted to see (and grab, and hug, and maybe kiss) was replaced by General Iroh.

"Avatar Korra." He peered at her with concern written on his face. Mako edged into view behind him, and the two of them watched her with hooded expressions. "Are you alright?"

This far from the rest of the city and hundreds of feet above the combat below, the night air was heavy enough to mute the conflict. The night breeze brought a chill to her bones, reminding her that she would never Firebend again, snuffing out the glow of victory. So she could win a fistfight without her bending. So what? She was the Avatar. How was she supposed to keep balance between the elements if she couldn't feel them? How could she win the respect of world leaders? She was just a seventeen-year-old girl who'd trained every day of her life to do something she no longer could.

A tear trickled down her cheek. She shook it away angrily.

"Take me to Aang Memorial Island."

They glanced at each other, but thankfully they said nothing. Maybe they thought she was going there to seek spiritual guidance.

_Let them. If I was going to connect with my past lives, they'd have come to me before Amon bloodbent me. Before he took my bending away forever._

She just needed to get as far away from here as she could. From this place, from the Equalists, from the Firebenders who stood in front of her, from the city.

From everyone.


	3. Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." Also, a lot of introspection and dialogue leaning toward depression and suicidal thoughts.
> 
> Fighting was last chapter. This one's about grabbing hope from the depths of despair.

The White Lotus guards started calling out to Korra as soon as she started climbing.

She couldn't make out their frantic shouts, but what else would they be saying? "Get down from there", or "it isn't safe!" — as if she didn't know exactly what she was doing. Maybe some pleas, even a threat about telling her father. They'd done it her entire life, when she broke out again and again from the compound her guardians fenced her in, when she tested and shattered the limits they tried to set for her. She'd always considered herself strong enough to deal with whatever she might face.

What a horrible irony it was that this time their requests had merit.

 _I rushed in against Amon, and look how that turned out_.

When she reached Aang's hip, she stopped to take in huge gulps of the cool night air to relieve her burning lungs. She leaned back against the statue, rubbing her face against her shoulder to wipe the stinging sweat from her eyes. Climbing with one arm and a sprained ankle was hard, even for her. Every unexpected jolt and every sudden breeze shoved a lance of pain through her broken shoulder and wrist.

Her laugh scraped against her ears. These pains were nothing compared to the hollow emptiness where she should feel the elements. Blocking them out of her mind, she resumed her climb, keeping her eyes on the shadowed heights above her.

It was another ten minutes before she made it to the top, gasping for breath as she rolled herself onto the statue's shoulder. Her legs were trembling so much that she didn't dare try to stand. Climbing back down, even after drying, might not be possible. Squeezing her eyes shut, Korra tried not to imagine Tenzin's expression when he came to… _pick her up_.

She shook her head. What mattered was that she'd made it.

She looked out over the bay. Fires raged out of control across Republic City, spewing thick columns of smoke that rose to block out the moon. For this, Korra was grateful. Hidden from the view of the moon spirit, she could almost pretend that it was the smoke, not her own loss, preventing her from Waterbending.

From this dizzying height, her guards looked like ants. She suddenly remembered that most of them - maybe all of them - had been caught by Amon on Air Temple Island. They couldn't bend any more than she could. They couldn't get to her, not without following her dangerous climb, but more importantly they wouldn't be able to help her if anything happened up here. Her guards wouldn't be able to save her if she slipped and fell from this height.

Or if she jumped.

She sat hundreds of feet above hard stone with nothing to break or slow a fall. A fall that would almost certainly kill her. Would the Avatar state activate to save her life, restoring her bending to keep her alive? Would one final life-threatening test fulfill her hopes?

_Does it matter?_

Korra paused.

Maybe this was her last duty. What use was an Avatar who couldn't bend the elements? So she'd defeated Amon without her bending. It didn't matter. No hyper-aggressive world leader bent on conquest would listen to a teenage girl who couldn't back up her words. And she hadn't even had time to finish training before the city erupted into war. There  _had_  to be an Avatar or this kind of thing would happen all the time, everywhere.

If she couldn't do anything to help the world, she had to make room for someone who could.

One of the stocky buildings near the police station shivered. Right before Korra's eyes it started to fall, crashing to the city streets, a great  _boom_  echoing across the bay a second later. Korra shuddered at the thought of how many lives the building's fall had just snuffed out.

She stood, looking down, trying not to imagine her lifeless body on the ground below. Trying not to think of Tenzin's reaction when he saw her, or her friends' faces when they found out. A lump formed in her throat that she couldn't swallow.

If she jumped, would that be her legacy?  _The useless Avatar Korra, who moved out of the way so someone else could do her job. By jumping off a statue._

After all that her predecessor had done for the world, that sounded  _pathetic_.

She sat back down, pulling her legs up to her chest, trying and failing to fill the void within her.

In the heart of downtown, the battle was intensifying. General Iroh must've spread the word that Amon had been taken out, because the United Force had finally regained their momentum. They launched powerful assaults against their foe, overwhelming the wavering Equalist positions with sheer ferocity. Without the symbol of Amon in command, their leaders wouldn't be able to unify...which might draw out the fighting far past the point of conventional defeat.

Mako was out there, she knew, putting himself in the thick of the battle. He didn't talk about it much, but Republic City was his home more than it would ever be hers. He was fighting for streets he'd walked and people he'd met. He'd gotten her out of the arena practically by himself, with fire and lightning and a refusal to fail. He'd fought harder than she'd ever seen him fight, to get her out of there alive.

She wanted nothing less than for him to see her like this.

Korra glanced down again, watching the waves lap against the island's rocky shore.

And here she sat. Helpless, powerless, a failed Avatar.

Alone.

* * *

She never even heard him approach.

"Avatar."

There was no mistaking his gravelly voice.

Propelled by instinct, Korra reached once more for elements she could not touch. Not that they would do her any good even if she could — battered and bruised, exhausted from her climb, she wouldn't be able to start a campfire right now. Let alone face off against the best chi-blocker in Republic City.

Weariness pulled at her muscles, and she hugged her legs tighter, pressing the cloth against her skin. "What do  _you_  want?"

He lowered to a squat a few feet from her. "This is hardly a night for you to sit on the sidelines."

Korra narrowed her eyes. "Not like I have much choice anymore."

"Get over yourself and get out there."

"Get o— _oh yeah?_ " Fury boiled in Korra's gut as she shot a glare at Amon's lieutenant. Finally, a target for the hollowness within her. "That easy, huh? Forgive me if I can't quite collect myself yet. I just lost my bending…and  _you_  helped him do it!"

A long pause. "So you only sought to win the crowd?"

Korra blinked, confusion halting her fury in its tracks. "I - what?"

The lieutenant let out a shuddering sigh, and Korra couldn't help but notice how weary he looked.  _Of course. Amon bloodbent him too_. _Amon, the leader he trusted with his life, the man he thought couldn't bend…_

She tensed as he lifted a hand, ready to react if he grabbed one of his electric kali sticks, but he was only removing his goggles. "When you challenged Amon," he said, his low voice strangely soft, "when you said you would fight him even without your bending, I…I thought I understood. It was the first time I saw you as something other than my enemy. I didn't trust you, but in that moment…I had to watch you try."

Korra swallowed, her anger dissipating. Without his inaction, she never would've had the chance to beat Amon. "You made it possible for me to beat him."

He shrugged. "To fight a Waterbender, a  _bloodbender_ , without your bending. No, you did it all yourself. Although…"

Korra saw the wheels turning in his head and shut her eyes.  _Stop. I don't need this_. "He was lying. I can't Airbend now any more than I can call water or blast you off this monument with fire. Not that I could before," she muttered glumly.

"And yet you still climbed up here?" His pale blue eyes held something akin to admiration.

A scowl twisted Korra's lips.  _What is he trying to accomplish_? "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be out at the battle, fighting for your Equalists?"

"Shouldn't you?"

"In case you didn't notice,  _I can't bend_." She frowned. His voice had contained something hopeful, almost begging…"And you can bet I wouldn't be fighting for the Equalists."

His growl startled her. "So you really didn't care. It wasn't about helping them. It was about revenge for the loss of your bending."

Korra coughed, indignant. " _Hey!_  I think exposing the bloodbender who deceived you all counts as helping."

"Would you have exposed him if he were instead the Firebender who fought beside you?"

Opening her mouth, Korra found that she had no words. If it  _had_  been Mako, somehow, no, of course she wouldn't fight him. But Mako wouldn't  _do_  that…

Mako, who with Bolin had been forced to work for the gangs just to survive.

Tarrlok's face, condescending, laughing as she tried to bargain with him to free her friends.

And then again, his battered body lying in a hole in the broken Council floor, looking up at her with fear in his eyes as she hurtled toward him with fists full of fire, using bending to force him to accept her wishes.

The lieutenant chuckled scornfully and shook his head. "It's easy to bring down your enemies. But in the end, I guess, this is the truth of things. Benders fight each other for control, and the rest of us pay the price." He yanked his hood off to reveal dark matted hair and tossed the cloth away. It fell spinning, disappearing from view long before it hit the water.

Korra gulped, a riot of emotions tugging at her heart and mind. Confusion, outrage, sympathy…guilt. "Look, I'm sorry that benders…"  _That I…_  "But you guys took your protests too far. Launching the city into war, taking bending away from everyone. The Equalists are too extreme."

His breath came out in a huff. "'Extreme'. At least now we have your attention. All the years we tried peaceful actions, we were ignored or our movement put down. Benders don't understand."

"Surely Tenzin —"

"—Was better than the monster  _Tarrlok_ , I'll grant you that." The man rolled his eyes. "But when your father was the Avatar and you've spent your whole life preparing to build a new bending nation, you tend to have  _more important_  things on your mind than the people you're helping to rule."

He gestured at the battle in the city, which had moved to encompass the docks. An Equalist zeppelin trying to lift off suddenly erupted in flames, casting an orange glow on the nearby combatants. "When Amon first told us his plans, his goals, a lot of people hesitated. How could a group of nonbending commoners take on the entire bending world? Even I and my chi-blockers…but he was so…when our movement grew, when Hiroshi Sato himself joined us, when we saw our leader take others' bending…how could he?"

Korra had never heard someone sound so bleakly forlorn.  _We're not so different, in some ways. You've lost your way too. And h_ _e_ _bloodbent you._

"I'm sorry he hurt you. I've been bloodbended before, and…"

She trailed off at the lieutenant's cold stare. His haunted eyes were full of contempt. "His betrayal is what hurts. The bloodbending…well. I'm used to being injured by the elements, wielded by benders. You more than anyone made sure of that."

Every word she could find to throw at him felt empty. A distinct sense of  _wrongness_  was creeping on her. "You were with Amon. You were my enemy."

"And you were ours. It seems that, in spite of everything, you still are. Some Avatar."

Korra had no answer.

He looked at her long and hard, the directness of his pale blue eyes making Korra wish she could turn away. "No. I refuse to give up hope." Drawing his kali sticks, he planted one in a stone crevice, one of the folds of Aang's cape. "You and I will always be enemies. There can be no compromise or peace between us. But think about the other nonbenders. The ones at the rally, but also the ones in the buildings that Firebenders are blasting to shards right now. You don't have to be theirs."

With that, he was gone, leaving Korra more uncomfortable than ever.

Her mind buzzed as she shifted on the cold metal. Why did he come here? Amon's right hand - no, former right hand. Bloodbent and cast aside, his movement slowly being overpowered by benders, so he came here to find her. To find the Avatar…to  _talk_  to the Avatar. But why? To win her to his side even though she would never bend again?  _Why?_

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing out a single tear.

_What have I done?_

Air rushed by Korra, ruffling her clothing, and suddenly she wasn't alone. She glanced to the right and caught a glimpse of familiar red, yellow, and orange against the night sky. Air Nomad robes.

Clenching her jaw, she turned away.  _No. I can't see you right now, Tenzin. Not after that. Maybe not ever._

"Go away. Please, Tenzin. Not now."

He came to a stop beside her. "'Tenzin'? Really? Does he look that much like me?"

Korra's breath caught, her heart skipping several beats. She knew that voice. Knew it like she knew her own, even though she'd never heard it before today.

_It can't be._

"I don't believe it. Maybe it's the outfit. It  _has_  to be. No matter what I said, everyone kept telling him to wear my robes. Something about how it made him look dignified. Sokka especially."

Korra whirled to face him.

* * *

Given that he lacked the glow she'd expected a spirit to have, thinking he was Tenzin had been a reasonable mistake. They had the same firm jaw, the same high cheekbones. He was bald and lean like his son, and almost as tall. And the tattoos, of course. In Air Nomad culture, it was the mark of a master of Airbending. A mark that he'd received before he was twelve years old.

The man who'd helped her during her battle with Amon. Who'd guided her through the fight, brought her back from the brink of defeat. Upon whose shoulder she now sat. More or less.

How was he here?

Stroking his beard, Aang stood just behind her. He wasn't looking at her, but off across the ocean to the south.

"But you can't move in them at  _all_ ," he mused. His eyes narrowed. "There's nothing dignified about…huh. I see. Maybe  _that's_  why nobles are so stuffy all the time."

Despite herself, Korra started to laugh.

Her past self turned to face her, and Korra finally saw the difference. Where Tenzin always looked like he'd swallowed a bowl of sour lichee nuts, Aang's whole being smiled. "You've seen it too, haven't you?"

Korra shook her head, still chuckling. "I hate to break it to you, Aang, but your son is  _exactly_  like that."

Aang sighed. "I wondered if he'd ever grow out of that serious phase. Not that it's a bad thing — if anything, Bumi and Kya could have used a little more of it — but, well, it's heavy. Most Airbenders fly highest when they feel light and free."

 _Light and free_. The words hit her like freezing water.

He must have noticed. His hand was warm on her bare shoulder. "How are you feeling, Korra?"

This was all too much.

She reached out and suddenly he was kneeling beside her, his arms around her as she rambled into her past life's robes. "I can't bend, Aang. I beat Amon without it but now there's a battle I can't do anything about, and even if we win I have nothing, I don't know if Bolin and Asami succeeded and I feel guilty for being mad at Asami weeks ago but I wish Mako were here, I like him, I think, but he can bend and he  _saved_  me from the arena and I just...can't... _do anything_!"

"Zuko's grandson was at the arena."

Korra blinked. "What? Oh." He was right. The Firebending general had helped save her, which meant he and Bolin and Asami must have succeeded in their mission.

A gentle hand stroked her hair. "It's okay to cry, Korra."

So she did.

After several minutes, she pulled away from Aang's embrace. "He was right, wasn't he? Amon's...the lieutenant. The Equalist."  _I don't even know his name._

"In some ways, yes."

Sniffling, Korra wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "But I didn't have any time! I'd just gotten here and...I just wanted to…help people…well, and to bring balance, and to see the world, and become a powerful bender, the best, and…"

She faltered. Aang said nothing, but his lip twitched in the hint of a smile. His eyes were understanding, the kind that only her predecessors could possibly have.

When Korra's breathing had evened, she mumbled, "I wanted to be the Avatar."

The wind picked up, blocking out all sound from the battle in the city. Korra tensed as it pushed her, ready to flail for a handhold, but Aang's firm hand steadied her. The wind only seemed to steady him even more.

His fingers tapped on her shoulder. "You know," he said after a while, "I never would have accomplished what I did without my friends. None of it, from the day I was released from the ice to the day you were born. You've heard of them, I imagine."

"Who  _doesn't_  know about Team Avatar?" Korra laughed. The contrast to her own loneliness hurt, but she could feel Aang's joy as he indulged in his memories.

"We had all the elements represented. Air. Water. Earth. Fire. And fan and sword."

Korra looked up. Aang shrugged. "It was simpler to think of balance in terms of the four elements in the old days, when it was usually one nation trying to conquer the other three. Even after the Hundred Year War, it took time for the elements to be comfortable mingling. But there's more to balance than that. Sokka held the group together in ways none of the rest of us could. Suki accomplished impossibilities. And even if your nonbending friend hadn't saved the rest of you once, is she not a part of your team? A part of you?"

Korra blushed. Thinking about Asami meant thinking about Mako and her feelings for him, and that was a confusing emotional knot she wasn't quite ready to untangle just yet. "I..."

Aang burst out laughing. "Your past lives all agree that the Avatar benefits from a compassionate heart. Yours will serve you well long before you figure out."

"Why are you telling me this?" Korra blurted out. Aang raised an eyebrow. Embarrassed, she looked away. "I can't be the Avatar if I can't bend anymore."

"It's a temporary wound."

His nonchalance brought her hopes up. "You mean Katara? Can she heal me?"

Aang's pure smile was so loving that Korra's heart tried to leap from her chest. "Katara." His grey eyes misted, layered in melancholy fondness. "She's one of the best healers in the world, but I can feel what Amon did to you. His bloodbending left scars that are preventing your energy from flowing properly, and even Katara has never been able to heal a scar. Though she's healed us before, she won't be able to bring your bending back. The North Pole's spirit water is...it won't work this time."

Korra wilted, lowering her eyes. "I…see."

"However, the Avatar state  _will_."

She threw up her good hand in frustration. "Yeah, I've been trying to do that for years, and look where it's gotten me! Don't know if you've noticed, but I can't enter the Avatar state."

Aang's laughter startled Korra so much she almost slipped on the statue. "You can't? How on earth do you think I  _got_  here?"

 _Wait._ Korra turned to face him —

Light.

She breathed in, and the air rushed to meet her.

Out, and the fire ignited. In her heart, at her fingertips, exploding all around her.

In again, with the tide, the waves below rising to her call.

Out, and her senses ran wild through the metal statue.

Her eyes opened wide, and she could see them all behind Aang, the crowd extending far into the night with eyes like stars. All the past Avatars, her past lives, watching her. Aang lifted his hands, one to her head and one to her heart, touching her energy with theirs, and time stopped.

For one blinding instant, she could see  _everything_.

When it was done, she and Aang were alone. Korra looked at her palms, refusing to control her tears of joy as she felt the elements around her. Experimentally she lit a flame, almost giggling as the warmth tickled her hand.

"So, Avatar Korra," Aang said softly, pointing across the bay. "What are you going to do about that?"

Gathering herself, Korra took a deep breath. There were so many fires in the downtown area that she could feel them hovering just beyond the reach of her bending. "The Equalists brought war and destruction to Republic City. I have to stop them."

She frowned, thinking. The lieutenant's words came back to her.  _He's right. I hate to admit it, but I never considered how powerful benders like Tarrlok and the crime lords…and me…made life tough for nonbenders._

After a moment, she continued, "But Republic City was already out of balance. Benders running wild, using their powers to harass nonbenders. Crime everywhere. A council with only benders from the four nations on it. And…even me, using my bending to get my way. Something has to change. And I have to change it."

Aang's smile was broad, pride in his expression. "You've taken a first step, Korra. We look forward to your next."

Turning away, his body began to fade into the night air.

"Aang — wait." He'd helped her so much. She couldn't just let him go. "Can you stay? I could really use your help."

His light chuckle calmed her. "I'm not actually here, remember? I died seventeen years ago. But don't worry, Korra." His orange and yellow robes vanished, the fabric disappearing into the night air until only his voice remained, drifting on the breeze. "We're the Avatar. We will always be with you."

Korra closed her eyes, her body humming with the power. But though power was what she needed right now, it was so much more than that. There was knowledge, too, and wisdom, and energy, and all the experiences of all the Avatars who had ever lived. In time, she'd train. She'd learn what they had to say.

For now, she had to end the fight.

Reaching out to the water below, Korra basked in the feeling of holding an element once more. With a mighty pull she brought the water to her, lifting it the several hundred feet so she could step out onto it. Normally such power was beyond her, but she could feel her veins thrumming with energy more than just her own.

Republic City was tearing itself apart, but Korra was the Avatar. She would make it whole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since we have Korra's full character arc in canon, I wanted to take her farther than the Book 1 finale did while keeping her timeline relatively consistent with her canon development. I also wanted to give Aang adult characterization (the rest of the Gaang gets it in canon, why not him?) and give the Lieutenant some dialogue and deeper motivation.


End file.
